Get my simple step-by-step method on how I have helped hundreds of singles recover from break-up and ghosting experiences so that they can love again in a way that makes their next love last.
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...”
― Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight
This usual way of moving-on after a break-up has a high risk of repeating past mistakes unless you pause to assess your injuries and learn from your experience.
Today's technology has is benefits, like take-out at your door, but it also has some major drawbacks. When you experience a break-up, the pain of heartbreak will make you want to experience positive attention and care again. But after this type of loss, your nervous system will be in overdrive and lead you to try to fix what you lost. So your instincts might lead you to find a partner that doesn't work for you now.
It's wise to allow yourself to go through a healing process before you risk your heart again. In working through your pain, you will learn why you fit so well into the past relationship and ways you need to heal to be ready to invite someone new into your heart.
Getting back into "the dating field" is a common myth that is followed by singles everyday. It's so tempting because it is so easy to do and may even numb the pain temporarily for some people, but it doesn't usually last. The problems you had in the last connection are usually not isolated to that one relationship.
Often, you will find that the habits you had in your last connection will be easy to repeat and you might even find yourself attracted to the same "type" in a way that it seems like you are going through the same thing, again.
Stage 1: Unpack your pain
Stage 2: Reclaim your identity
Stage 3: Prep your heart for love
I remember when I dated soon after a break-up experience it it took away some of the pain of loneliness but I kept comparing them to my last partner and nobody was interesting. So I did what you might be feeling like doing yourself, I decided to not date for a while. When I think about my clients who have also gone through these experiences, they told me things like:
Shawn, it's like I can't move on. I don't want anyone else.
or something like this...
I feel like no one will ever love me like he did. Maybe I'm just not meant to be in a relationship.
and others have even told me...
I feel like there's just a big whole in my heart and I don't know what to do to fill it.
No matter what thoughts or feelings are surfacing for you, it can get quite confusing at times. This is why dating again now, is a bad idea. When you start to heal, you will be ready to date again. But for now, let's look at what happens when we move on too soon.
Dating again after your romantic bond has ended, triggers a mode in the mind of putting thoughts and pain into black and white categories such as "good partner" or "bad partner." This tends to happen during times of stress and loss, such as a break-up. It's common to have more thoughts about what you think was taken from you, how you were justified, or even how the other person did not realize your positive traits.
You can use learn to transition your mind back to a state of balance and wellness, by rejecting to thinking about your qualities just yet. This is not the same thing as diving into gaming all day to keep your mind so busy that you can't feel the pain. True healing will look different for many people but it tends to follow a similar process for many.
When you start to date again, you will be asked to trust someone new when every bone in your body says "no." I'm a firm believer that our bodies are the best judge of readiness. When you are feeling that you want love again, your body might have different plans and create sensations such as panic, fear, general feeling of nervousness, jumping with physical touch, and many more.
Your guide will show you: My best tips and tricks on recovering your broken heart, readying your life for new partners, and how to figure out what partners to focus on for great long term satisfaction in coupledom. My signature 3 phase program will also help you meet other singles in our Facebook group.
Your new healing family is waiting for you on the other side of the group. Curious what your newfound support system has to say to help you feel connected and whole again? Just click below and get your free 13 page guide, all for absolutely free.
When you are feeling the tears and memories flood you, one of the best ways to get through the moment is a listening ear. The group component to the program can be the most powerful part when your emotions can suddenly shift and grow. I created this part of the program to help with the overwhelming sense of being all alone in the pain. You are not alone and others have felt this too...
The private group hosts live events where I teach singles how to work through my program and guide. You will also get the chance to help create the group by sharing with me the situations that are causing you to struggle. And when you feel you are no longer needing help from the group, we invite you to remain with our community as a helper to new singles who could use the support.
"No matter the break-up story, I believe that everyone has hidden super-powers yet to unlock their best parts.”
-Shawn Davis, LCSW
P.S.: When you join the group on Facebook, you get notices when I go live for extra training and help. So don't miss out on the group learning experience or meet me privately for the full customized experience.
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